This is an excerpt from the hilarious novel, Tony Blair: The Wilderness Years, by Ian Duncan Smith. You can download Tony Blair: The Wilderness Years for free.

No, I'm not the ex-president who instigated Watergate, dummy. I'm Mr. Blair's faithful friend.

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I'm on a train and Mr. Blair keeps saying, "Stay cool buddy. We're nearly there." Where? Jesus Christ, this is getting on my furry nerves.

Mr. Blair throws me a cold one in a hotel. What does he think I am? Look, buddy, paws!

I fall out of his suitcase onto the filthy floor of a temporary office. All I get is a brush down from Mr. B.

I don't like that Paterson fella and neither does Mr. B.

I like that draughty kirk even less, although Mr. B seems drawn to it.

I really wish Mr. B hadn't gone back to the lab.

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